Not much to report today. He slept until 11 this morning (10 really due to daylight savings). He wasn’t interested in eating anything other than a chocolate donut with sprinkles which we can’t get here at the hospital. So I asked Tom to bring one when he came. He didn’t eat anything else and wasn’t interested in getting out of bed. He did get out once to go look out the window but that about covered it. Then he almost fell asleep before Tom came but didn’t. I took Coop for a walk and he found a little car with a push handle on the back and he loved it. We took it back to the room and I asked Collin if he wanted to push his brother around in the hall and he said yes. The nurse and I were so excited but it didn’t last long as he got half way around the nurses station and was just too tired to go any further. So back to the room we went and back into bed. Then the boys left and he fell asleep pretty fast and slept for over an hour, maybe more. He woke up crying saying his tongue hurt and asking to do mouthwash but when we looked in his mouth we didn’t see any leisons so we don’t know what was causing it. He ate 3 popsicles and now he says it doesn’t hurt. The popsicles are pretty much the most he’s had in four days other than his ice cream last night. He still had loose stools today 3 times thus far but hasn’t thrown up which is good. His counts were down again this morning, in fact this nurse and I discussed that he’ll probably need another transfusion tonight or tomorrow since his count today was in the 8 range. His platelets were 20 and his WBC was still less than .1 or immeasurable. So I will continue to pray that his counts go up and that he has more energy and can eat more. I ended up crying in the kitchen tonight when the nurse asked how he was doing. I said good considering but that I was worried because he isn’t my normal little boy. My boy who runs around the house, who loves to play outside, who is strong and athletic and who has tons of energy. Right now all he wants to do is sleep and watch movies. I can’t even get him to color or do learning books right now which I usually can get him to do. He barely even has interest in playing the ipad. He will play with his “guys” but that is the extent of his play in the last 4-5 days. I pray that we have a nice break home before starting this next chemo because we have so much coming up and I feel like if we don’t go home now we won’t have much of a chance for a long time. His scan is scheduled a week from tomorrow so another thing to keep praying about…. for now I’ll just continue to pray. This afternoon Chrissy left because she has school tomorrow again and Sandra came because we are here indefinitely until his numbers start making a comeback.
Was reminded of our verse tonight as I sat here…. “For with God nothing shall be impossible”. I know this is true and it can’t be a coincidence that He keeps bringing it before my mind and heart. Not to mention that I know that God is not cruel and would not allow a 4 year old child to suffer like this if it weren’t for a REALLY good reason- because all things work together for good- not for evil. I just hope that sometime in life we will be able to see a glimpse into the positive reasons for him to go through all of this.
(I’ve posted pictures below of him making his stuffed animal from yesterday and trying on his hats from Mrs. Belew.)
* Some cuddle time with my other two boys today.
* Collin’s humor and excitement that he still can have once in a while. Last night he opened a package from his class at school and he was SO excited that I had to record it on the Ipad. He even at one point said that he was too smart for his own britches and then told Chrissy that Grandma A always tells him that. So thank you to Whiterock and Mrs. Belew because you put a smile and a laugh into a little boy who really needed it and it was PERFECTLY timed!
* Family and friends who make themselves available whenever we need it and it can’t be easy to always juggle their lives to make room for ours.
* A God that is in control of all of this, that hears prayers, and answers them. Without God I would be hopeless.
* For Collin to regain strength and be able to eat and play again.
* For his numbers to start to return back to his new “normal”.
* That he would not have any more loose stools.
* That the upcoming scan will show that the chemo has not just attacked his good cells but gotten rid of the tumor or drastically shrunk it.
* That Collin will continue to be protected from bad infections and other things that would cause him to be very sick.
* That our family and anyone else watching will be able to feel and see the hand of God in all of this and see his wondereous power!
* For those who have helped us, that they will be blessed for their kindness to our family.
* For our miracle!