Update 3/15/13

Alright, I’m a wee bit calmer now so I’ll fill you in on the last two days. Yesterday was an okay day for Collin. He ate a waffle for breakfast but then wasn’t hungry for lunch and wasn’t too interested in supper. However, he did sit down with his dad and had a few bites of chili and something else. He usually drinks a lot too so that doesn’t particularly help with him being hungry. He told his dad that he didn’t want to eat any more and he went to lay on the couch. Somehow or another he ended up standing by me and I could tell by his face that he wasn’t feeling right. So I yelled for a bucket. He told me he was fine the first time even though I could tell he was gagging and so the bucket went back to the sink. Unfortunately we weren’t fast enough to get it back, I knew he was going and yelled but we weren’t fast enough so Tom just put his hands out…. poor dad and poor Collin. He lost everything he had tried to eat. Then he snacked the rest of the night on crackers and a few other things, but no major meal. The bad part about yesterday which I already wrote about a bit in my prayer request, is that mom fell at work and hit her head and had to be taken by ambulance to the hospital. She has a concussion and a small brain hemorrhage from the fall and ten staples so she ended up staying overnight to be monitored and have additional tests run this morning. Meanwhile, dad called me pretty upset and probably scared at seeing mom like that and later last night he ended up in the ER as well because his BP was 188/118. After he laid there a while it returned back to a more normal range. However, I pray that they pay more attention to this because it seems that whenever he has stress his BP is high, and in case no one has noticed- life isn’t getting less stressful… I talked to them both today and they sounded better and mom was able to return home. I wish I could have been there though- yesterday was the first time when I really felt trapped being so far away and helpless because I am Collin’s main caregiver. I wished I could have been there and felt increasing guilt when I found out that Dad was in the ER- I should have been there at least so he wasn’t by himself.
Today was a better day for Collin. Today was the first time in over a week that he hasn’t thrown up. He made it through the whole day! He didn’t eat well at all for breakfast- wanted to make pancakes and then didn’t even take a bite. I’ve learned not to push him on this stuff because when we push him to eat he ends up losing it anyway. So he ended up getting a fun visit from Patricia and snuggled up next to her and begged her to play legos and everything. He had a lot of fun with her (and hopefully she doesn’t mind that I stole two of her pictures to post on here…) Then he ate a waffle for lunch because he didn’t like the choc. cool whip on his pancake. Although you make think he’s picky- unfortunately this is part of it. We have to give him whatever we can to eat and if he doesn’t like one thing then we don’t push it. Because things don’t taste the same for him. Then he took a descent nap and so did mom (which was good because I didn’t get too much sleep tonight) and he got up before I did and played. Then Grandpa and dad got here around the same time and that was the beginning of playing all night long. It is wonderful to see him laugh and have enough energy to actually play- although I’m sure he’ll sleep really well tonight as he hasn’t been this active in a few weeks. I made him a supper that he wanted tonight and he ate a few bites and again drank a lot- he lives on milk now! He didn’t eat as much as I had wanted so he promised to eat more later. I read last night on the national cancer society page that it helps patients with nausea and vomiting if they eat smaller portions more frequently. So that is what I’ve been trying to let him do today. Just as long as he gets calories in all day and I can try and monitor protein intake- because I really want to make sure he gets some. So after playing with grandpa he did eat more potatoes and cranberries. He also had some yogurt too. I’m so excited that we got food in today and that it stayed. I pray the next few days continue to be like that so that he can be stronger going into this next round of chemo which is again a very tough round for him with nausea. We do have our scan on Monday at 10:30 and I am going to venture a prediction that we will hear the scan results on Wednesday from the doctor when he is admitted for his next round of chemo. So then we will go from there. As his mom, I am praying that there is no tumor left or a very small amount. Although this is not likely, God can do anything- so I will continue to pray for that in spite of the odds.
I will be honest that the scan completely terrifies me. The bone marrow biopsy was the first thing that showed us if the chemo was working but this scan shows us the bigger picture on the tumor and it’s location and where we will go from here. It is my understanding that the surgeons and doctors will discuss the scan before meeting with us and will present it to us once they have met. So please pray for wisdom for the doctors as well. Anyway, enough for now as I’m going to try and sleep. Thank you to all of you who continue to pray- there are no words to express how much we appreciate it.
p.s. His medicine taking has gone very well since we switched to the pill form! Hallelujah!

Thankful for…

* Mom being able to return home and dad’s BP returning to a more normal rate.
* A full day of no vomiting and descent eating for Collin.
* A great visit with Patricia- Collin even wanted her to stay overnight!
* A day filled with laughter, smiling, and playing. For the first day in weeks- there was energy!
* A God who answers prayers and who loves me unconditionally.

Please pray…
* For my mom’s continued healing and dad’s BP to stay in the normal range.
* For Collin’s scans to show that the chemo has killed his tumor and not just the good cells.
* That Collin will be able to continue to eat well and that he might continue to have energy.
* That Collin would recover fast from this next round of chemo- so that if surgery is necessary that he will be as healthy as possible.
* That the C-diff will go away rather fast and that he would not get any other sickness while his numbers are still recovering.
* That Collin would continue to feel the presence of God through all his procedures and chemo’s.
* That everyone involved in his treatment and everyone who reads his updates or follows what is going on will be positively affected by all of this experience and that everyone will know the power of God throughout this journey!
* That Tom and I will have courage and strength as we go into our meeting with the doctors this week and please say a special prayer for me as well on Monday as I take Collin for his scan… even though I know that the scan is just showing us what is already there or not there, it still makes me sick to my stomach just thinking about having to go.


Update 3/15/13 — 4 Comments

  1. I have been praying for Collin, and special prayers also for you, Amanda! I am sending a poem that has helped me so many times in my life ~ I also shared it with my mom who had cancer years ago! Bless you, Amanda, for your candor and openness ~ God will be near to such an honest heart!!
    (I just tried to write the poem, and I think it was too long. I’ll see if it will all fit without these comments.)
    Love to you all ~ wish I were there to hug you, and to help!! Love you from a distance ~ Marilyn

  2. Child of My love, fear not the unknown morrow,
    Dread not the new demand life makes of thee;
    Thy ignorance doth hold no cause for sorrow
    Since what thou knowest not is known to Me.

    Thou canst not see today the hidden meaning
    Of My command, but thou the light shall gain;
    Walk on in faith, upon My promise leaning,
    And as thou goest all shall be made plain.

    One step thou seest ~ then go forward boldly,
    One step is far enough for faith to see;
    Take that, and thy next shall be told thee,
    For step by step thy Lord is leading thee.

    Stand not in fear thy adversaries counting,
    Dare every peril, save to disobey;
    Thou shalt march on, all obstacles surmounting,
    For I, the Strong, will open up the way.

    Wherefore go gladly to the task assigned thee,
    Having My promise, needing nothing more
    Than just to know, where’er the future finds thee,
    In all thy journeying I go before!