So Monday was Collin’s CT scan as most of you know. I was pretty nervous but God gave me strength for the day. Thankfully, Collin had no clue how big of a deal this scan was, he was just annoyed that he didn’t get to eat breakfast as they can’t eat for 12 hrs. before the scans. It was pretty fast. They had him drink contrast from 9:30-10:30 and then they took us in at about 11 and we were only in there 10 min. maybe less. Me being his mom was searching the faces of the technicians for some kind of clue as to what they were reading, but of course I got nothing. I didn’t expect to here anything Monday as our doctor already informed us that the scans would be sent to the surgeons for them to look at and assess. We didn’t hear anything today, which again I expected. I’m kind of looking at it as no news is good news at this point. That might not be the case, but I’m choosing to view it that way. There isn’t much else to report other than he’s been eating pretty well which showed in his weight on Monday and he’s been doing REALLY well with the medications. I can’t believe I didn’t think of trying pills earlier. One bite of pudding and medication is done. It is SUCH a relief I can’t even tell you.
So tomorrow is the day we find out the CT results as far as I know. I did ask the nurse Monday when she called with his lab numbers if they’d be back and she thought they would be. She told us that his WBC was 2.1, Hemoglobin 12.9, Platelets 88, and ANC 850. This means that his WBC is still low, but I guess that is to be expected since he’s going into his 5th round of chemo. I will try and sent out an update as soon as I can tomorrow, even if it is brief so that I can inform everyone who is wondering and praying about the appointment. Tomorrow is the first time since this process began that we will get a real look at the tumor and if the chemo has attacked it enough. Again, as I have stated countless times, I would love for there to be no tumor at all, but if there is tumor there I pray that it has receded away from his major organs for them to SAFELY operate. (No operation at all would be amazing!)
Becca showed up tonight with the girls as she will be watching our boys this week. Originally she was coming with just Molly because Hannah had school. Today I was warned her on the phone when she called to say she was leaving that Collin would be asking her why Hannah couldn’t come because he was really disappointed that she wasn’t coming with and didn’t understand why she had to go to school and couldn’t come visit. We hung up and a few minutes later I get a call back from Becca saying that she talked to Hannah’s teacher about the situation and had her pulled from school for the rest of the week. Needless to say this mama cried with excitement. I knew he’d be SO happy to have her here and it will be a really nice distraction during the beginning of this round because she can come to the hospital and play with him. When the van pulled up to the house he just screamed with excitement and he didn’t even know Hannah was in there at that point because Becca was surprising him. So they spent all night all four kids, running around, playing downstairs, pretending to arrest bad guys (mom, dad and auntie Becca) and then they all watched VeggieTales and had snacks before bed. Not only was it good for Collin, it was good for his mom too, to see his joy and happiness to be able to see his cousins.
Now I just have to get some sleep tonight. Hopefully I’ll be able to fall asleep tonight. Today was good because there was so much to do here that I barely had time to think about tomorrow and the boys were terrorizing each other all day which definitely makes for a good distraction…. However, whenever I had even a second of down time it was right there….I watched the boys play in the snow (notice Coop’s RAIN boots in the picture below…) and help Tom shovel tonight and I stood at the window and smiled and laughed and then cried. It is so wonderful to see them play together and how happy they are, but it is VERY bittersweet because I don’t know if they will get to grow up together and laugh and smile like this for years. I pray that they do. Again I know that logically tomorrow’s test isn’t showing us anything that is not already there or not there, but its the unknown that is frightening and the fact that the chemo might not have done enough for the surgery to be performed safely. It’s not that the tumor is particularly huge, but it’s the location that is very tricky. In December, it was wrapped around his kidneys and some key blood vessels leading to the heart. Their hope is that the tumor has shrunk away from these things so they can safely take it out. So tomorrow we find out… and tonight I will again be praying myself to sleep, and praying all the way to the appointment tomorrow, and praying while we wait. It’s a good thing that God likes to hear the prayers of his children…
* A God who hears and answers prayers. I know if I looked over the list of all my answered prayers thus far in this process it would fill the page. ( I attempted to look back tonight and post all of them- but couldn’t quite get back far enough…)
* The love my children have for each other.
* The strength God has given me to not go insane waiting the last few days.
* Becca being able to be here with both the girls.
* The safe birth of our friends baby girl today- Welcome to the world Ella Marie!
* That tomorrow’s scan shows that the tumor is either gone, has shrunk enough for no surgery, or shrunk enough that they can safely operate.
* That Tom, Collin, and I would be given strength tomorrow and that we would know the presence of God in the appointment especially.
* That this next round of chemo would not be too hard on him with his nausea. This is the same round as the 3rd that made him so sick…. we would love to see less side effects this time around.
* That Collin’s numbers would stay high enough for him not to have any serious issues and that if he does need surgery that they would recover VERY well so that he can be his healthiest going into surgery.
* That Collin will still be able to eat through all of this so that he might not loose so much strength.
* That Collin’s C-diff would be gone soon.
* That Mom would continue to heal and that she might have a full recovery and that Dad’s BP would get under control.
* That our other two boys would do well this round as it is getting increasingly harder for Coop when we are gone.